It arrives over and over and over again. It’s that oh so personal message, “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.” No explanation and no referral. Just click here, please. It’s making LinkedIn ecstatic. But, it should be making you nervous.
Yes, these days scads of Linda Dlugler’s have been asking to Link to us. We don’t know them from a hole in the wall. They’re mathematicians from Houma, Louisiana and restaurateurs from Scranton PA, but goody-goodie, they all want to connect to us.
Does Linda Really Want Me?
What Linda wants, Linda usually gets. If Linda asks us to connect, most of us are simply saying “Yes,” even when we’ve no idea who she is. That’s because LinkedIn wants us to think that’s our only choice. I mean, after all, it would be grumpy and mean to click the “Ignore Button,” because, well, it would be downright anti-social.
You see, LinkedIn wants as many followers following followers of followers following followers (do you follow?) because that’s how it builds it’s value. After all, the more people who “group-on” to LinkedIn, the better, right?
Well, right if we’re deciding what’s good for LinkedIn; wrong if we are deciding what’s good for you. Having thousands of contacts who mean nothing to you – and you mean nothing to them – is the way to spam, computer viruses and even criminal attacks. We’ve written about this until we’re blue in the face – but LinkedIn Bubble? Or, Bobble-Heads? and Armed and Not Dangerous are good places to start.
Fight Back with Write Back
I don’t know how many people have told me – “Yes, but I can only accept or ignore the invitation.” NO, not true, you can write back and ask these folks to give you more information. But, LinkedIn doesn’t really want you to know that.
Pay attention. There’s a tiny little arrow next to the “Accept” Button. The “Accept” Button is big, so you’ll click it, even by accident. The arrow is tiny, and most people miss it entirely. However, if you click that arrow, you can actually “Reply (don’t accept yet):”
When Linda asked me in that highly personalized way, “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn,” although my heart was all aflutter with the anticipation of a new connection, here’s what I said when I clicked “Reply:”
Dear Linda,
I’ve loved you all my life – and I shall love you forever. But first please, tell me who you are. I understand that you’d like to link to me, but you whisper not a word of why. Why me? Is it my charm, my charisma, my spicy, insightful blog articles, or something else altogether? Please write and fill me in,
Your patient servant,
8 out of 10 never write back. 1 out of 10 write back with a weak and generic claim that it’s good to connect to 37,000 people (why that might be they never really say – it’s just good). And, the other 1 says something like, “It’s your mother, Michael – call me sometime.”
Linkedin has been clear forever – get introduced through someone who knows the person you want to link to, and tell them why.
That’s out of one side of their mouth. They’d go broke if you followed it. Who’s encouraging indiscriminate following, linking and liking? Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook all assault you with “connection” offers. Here’s a recent screen from my Facebook account:
Why do they do it? Because the more customers they have and the more links they promote, the more they can brag that they’ve got zillions of users.
These days, however, serious articles about what is being called “social media overload” are starting to appear. The frightening privacy implications of online social sites are finally becoming evident. Serious people are beginning to apply Robin Dunbar’s studies of apes and gorillas (very apt when it comes to social media types) about how FEW connections we can actually handle. It’s called Dunbar’s Number – look it up.
But, studies and articles aside, this is how one of my friends feels about it:
I’m pretty dormant on all of the social network stuff. Facebook is creeping me out and all I see are the same people announcing they put ketchup on their fries 20 minutes ago and other earth-shattering pronouncements. LinkedIn reads like a series of self-appraisals in which they pulled out Roget’s Corporate Jargon and Buzzword Thesaurus. I don’t think I’m missing much by sitting on the sidelines.
Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter had better pay attention to my friend Jim if they treasure their stock prices and care about satisfying their investors. Big numbers don’t necessarily mean big stock prices. In fact, big numbers of nitwits, sellers and spammers pumping out the trivial, the mean and the misleading almost surely foretells a crash.
Too bad, because I liked connecting to some of you… just not all of you.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
“…You see, LinkedIn wants as many followers following followers of followers following followers (do you follow?) because that’s how it builds it’s value. After all, the more people who “group-on” to LinkedIn, the better, right?…”
Truth is, Michael, it’s not just the social media services that want large numbers of followers, friends and the like, it’s the users of social media themselves. Particularly all those users who fancy themselves “social media experts”. Seriously, how much of an expert can you be if you aren’t maxed out on LinkedIn? Who doesn’t want the 500+ connection designation of the Larry Bs – self-described SEO and Social Media Strategist – of LinkedIn?
Early on I collected my 1500 twitter followers (@tomjgray) and I followed 50 groups on LinkedIn like the gurus told me to. I drew the line at Facebook but not before I collected 150 Friends, most of whom I know but many whom I look at and wonder, “why the hell am I following a Joyful Awakening Facilitator”?
I downloaded Tweetdeck and signed on with Hootsuite and then I realized that nothing was happening. I also realized I did not want to be a social media guru which is the only reason to go to town collecting numbers for the services indicated.
There are damn good reasons for any business to use social media but like any other marketing initiative you need a purpose, you need a plan and you need persistence. And, for too many small business’, they long for the simple days of the Sunday Paper insert and the Yellow Pages display ad.
God help me but I’m looking to offer some local workshops and I’m thinking about using direct mail to promote them. I’m afraid to use social media and email because, with all the noise, I fear being ignored, or worse, labeled a spammer.
There are good guys out there, Jan Vermeiren comes to mind, who will show you how to use LinkedIn the right way. The problem with the approach that Jan and others of his reputable ilk prescribe, it takes work. You need a purpose, you need a plan, you need persistence. Unfortunately the most spurious of the social savants say the numbers the thing. If you build them, the business will come. My response? Bullshoot!
By the way, Vermeiren’s advice, when requesting a connection, is to explain who we are, how we can be a resource and then ask how we can promote the individual from who we’re requesting the connection. His take, first we give, then we get. Givers get – what a concept.
Thanks for the considered comment, Tom,
Excellent points all – especially your comment “… and then I realized nothing was happening.” So true. The vast majority of new Twitter members follow more people than they ever could keep track of, much less, engage and converse with. I can’t tell you how many businesses who have put up Facebook business pages and seek out “LIKES,” but never “LIKE” anyone at all. They simply collect. And, I’d say that at least 4 of 5 people who want to link to me on LinkedIn come from the “I’d like to add you…” approach. It’s simply becoming a polluted environment, but almost no one is willing to point that out.
One of the reasons we write the kinds of things that we write is because we’ve had so many people tell us about the swindles they’ve encountered in this space. The main one being “invest your time and/or money in this stuff and you’ll get rich.” Only people getting rich are the ones convincing you to do the nonsense they suggest.
We’ve questioned the online anti-social actions of some of our best friends and been told that a social media “expert” told them to do it – or that the social media “expert” was the one doing it! We’ve watched as friends conscientiously track their movement up the Google results ladder from #389 to #172, and marveled at their faith that somehow that effort will bring them more business.
The bottom line is that we’ve watched scores of small businesses, entrepreneurs and consultants lose more business than they’ve gained via these social media hype scams (like following scads of people), while we’ve watched those cynically non-responsive and outright anti-social experts fill their pockets with lucre.
Because we’re sick of it, we intend to keep pointing out that the Emperor has no clothes.
I love it, I get so annoyed by the constant requests that I’ve been sending out my own version of your very nice email (not quite so nice) to anyone that sends the canned request to me, including people I know!. What makes particularly interesting reading for me are the numbers that reply with a ‘I didn’t realise I’d asked you to connect’ because they never realised that LinkedIn helpfully sends out automated requests as soon as you connect up your email account to your LinkedIn account. It’s the equivalent of standing in networking room and throwing all your business cards in the air and then shouting ‘scrum’ …. ! Online networking should have the same etiquette as off-line networking; it’s all about building strong relationships that last and are relevant for both parties. So thanks, for the response on Twitter and alerting me to your own particular take on this particular bug bear
Great comment Linda,
Thanks so much for the comment. You’re so right that people sometimes don’t realize that they are sending out these messages. On the other hand, what do they think is going to happen when FB, LinkedIn or Twitter says, “Give me your email address and your password and your first born son?” Do they think it’s because Facebook wants to double-check that they’ve got a security conscious password?!! The image of throwing all your business cards in the air is perfect. I’d like to steal it from you. We have a saying for social media: “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” I don’t know how many times I’ve seen social media “experts” tell an audience that technology makes this or that possible. The audience always goes “ooohh” and “aaahh!” The thing they never seem to ask – “Would you do that in real life?!” Just because technology makes it possible doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.