It’s time to admit something. It’s time for therapy. It’s time to let you all know just how disappointed I am in you. Don’t take it personally. It’s my problem. I’m getting help for it. Promise.
When the Internet came along about 10 or so years ago (OK, I was a little slow) I was incredibly intrigued. I thought, “You know, all these people out there – someone might like me.” I also thought, “And a few of them might even share my interest in Edward Abbey.”
Turns out I was wrong. Despite the Internet, almost no one still really likes me. And, almost no one has ever shared their enthusiasm with me for one of the greatest writers of the past decades.
The AOL Years
My first foray into connecting with people online was AOL. They had chat rooms, they had my email and they had free email! Oh my.
My name on AOL? DSolitaire. (I still might be, but I can’t remember how to log in).
Could I have been more transparent? I mean I figured I was waving a red flag that said, “I love Edward Abbey’s great book about the destruction of the American wilderness, Desert Solitaire.” Someone is gonna’ come along and say, “I like him too!” and I’ll have a new friend.
Crushed, I say, crushed. No one ever did. No one caught on. In fact, the main interaction in all those many AOL years was a message sent to me in error. It had been meant for a David Solitare in San Diego.
The Blog Years
Then, after endlessly making fun of the people who would waste their time writing blog articles, I began writing not one, but two blogs.
Again, I figured I’d spend time with some of you. Get to know you. Talk around the campfire, so to speak. But, only a tiny portion of the millions and millions of you out there ever scroll down as far as you now have – and even fewer of you ever comment. Like I said, I’m getting help.
The Facebook Years
Then, along came social networking. I could hardly contain my enthusiasm. Double bubble! What could be better – both “social” and “networking.”
The clincher? I got to tell you who I like on my “Info Page,” which I admit I spent time on. I really thought about it. Not like some of you. NO, you don’t fill out your “Info” page at all. Makes it darn hard to get to know you.
On Facebook I got to tell you that I like Rosanne Cash, Jonathan Yardley, Northern Exposure and A Thousand Clowns – books, music, artists, writers, even baseball players. I could hardly contain my anticipation. The plutillions of Facebook users all over this polluted little globe of ours would know more about me. And, THEN, maybe they’d like me. Nope.
Almost none of you ever fill out your Facebook “Info,” and you never, ever say anything about mine. And, that’s why I’m disappointed in you. And, why I’m picking up the phone to call my therapist.
But, you know what. I’m not gonna’ give up. I’m gonna’ keep trying. Have any of you read Tana French? Amazing mystery writer. The Likeness and Faithful Place are two of the meatiest mysteries I’ve read in years. Anyone? Anyone?!!