Google, in it’s wisdom, has decided that you can just take your crummy search words and shove them.

While writing a previous post about Facebook’s own insanities, I was looking for like-minded writers on the Internet. It’s common to do this sort of search. The most famous example is to put in a company’s name and then add the word, “sucks.” (Don’t look at me like that – we all know you’ve done it).

Watch Closely – This Affects You

What Facebook did made me want to barf, but you’ll notice in the screen shot below that Google (in it’s infinite wisdom) figured I really meant “bar” – and gave me that in every single result:

The only problem? I didn’t mean “bar” – I meant “barf.” I actually had to change my search and treat my word like a phrase (by putting quotes around the word) in order to get the results I was looking for:

Notice that Google’s first idiot results numbered 767,000, compared to the correct 4,320. Isnt’ that enough to make you crazy?

The Queen of Search

I went out looking for help with this one and called on someone who knows (and I mean really knows). Tara Calishain is the author of “Google Hacks” and earlier this year she had written Google Localizes Google Suggest, “Improves” Spelling Suggestions:

Say I’m searching for Carolynn. There are plenty of people named Carolynn. However, there are more people named Carolyn and Google will a) suggest that as the correct spelling and b) put Carolyns in my search results.

Which is just completely nuts. It’s not only nuts, but other than Tara, no one is writing about this or complaining about it! Even Tara is a bit too gracious and generous, calling it Google’s “well-meaning results.”

In response to my fulminations, she wrote back:

Hi Michael. This is Google thinking it knows what you want to search for better than you do.

Yahoo and Bing and Ask, Oh My!

So, Google thinks it knows better.

There must be something in the tech water. People with lots of specialized and abstruse knowledge drink it and it makes them arrogant and stupid.

Mark Zuckerberg drinks it regularly. AOL binged on it for years and finally ended up face down in the gutter. But, you’d never think Google would succumb to the same kind of temptation. Until now.

Thank goodness Bing, Ask and Yahoo are not following Google. I’m moving my search business over to someone who cares what I’m looking for and trusts that I know what I’m doing. I’m going to bet others will be following fairly soon.

Sell your Google stock now.

You Have a Friend in the Facebook Business

Honestly, I don’t really know Mark Zuckerberg all that well. I mean, we’re not “Friends,” or anything (for those of you without a scorecard, he’s the head guy over at Facebook).

I do know that trusting Mark to fix privacy controls is like trusting BP’s Tony Hayward to insist upon safe oil drilling procedures in the Gulf. Not really his strong suit.

In the past few weeks, Mark and his cronies have yet again gotten themselves mired in deep, squishy cow-flop by making more raucously stupid decisions about your safety and privacy.

Oh, you mean just like the one where they thought broadcasting what you buy online to all your friends was a good idea? Yup.

Oh, you mean like when they declared that all your photos and stuff on Facebook belonged to them if you leave? Yup.

Now, here we are again. Another firestorm of protest as Facebook decides to spread your stuff all over the Internet. And, one more time, Zuckerberg is sweating it out and re-thinking his position (was there ever any thinking in the first place?!)

Here’s what I’m thinking. It’s impossible to calculate how just how grave the danger is when corporate America is run by video game-playing snots like this guy.

Sing along, then, with me (and Eric), as we move on:

I don’t care what you do at night oh
I don’t care how you get your delights
We’ll leave it alone
We’ll just let it be
I don’t love you and you don’t love me.

Back to Those Fan Pages

Yes, I’ve became a “Fan” on Facebook of a few of my friends and business acquaintances. These were called “Fan Pages.” (Clever, huh?) Then, in the blink of an eye, I guess I started to “Like” them. Who knew?!

Now? I’ve decided not to “Like” anyone or be a “Fan” of anyone, period.

The “Like Button” nonsense has gotten totally out of hand. It’s all one big giant morass of marketing voodoo and privacy violations.

Wired Magazine’s Ryan Singel (”Facebook’s Gone Rogue)” says:

“Then there’s the new Facebook “Like” button littering the internet. It’s a great idea, in theory — but it’s completely tied to your Facebook account, and you have no control over how it is used. (No, you can’t like something and not have it be totally public.)”

And, as Singel points out, there’s a Facebook Fan Page (Facebook Like Page?!) for every word and phrase in the universe. Whether it’s “My Boss is Crazy,” “existentialism,” “putrid” or “cursive,” there’s a page for it.

How Could We Know that Promises End?

It makes me feel just like The Blogger Also Known as @Snipeyhead. Recently she commented back on one of her own blog posts about Facebook Fan Pages:

Every time I try to sit down and write about the privacy crap they’ve recently pulled, I feel physically tired.

Which is exactly how I feel. I’m tired of trying to keep up with the changes on Facebook. I’m tired of people I don’t know suggesting that I should “Like” their twaddle. I’m tired of the exploitation that Facebook wrangles out of my private likes and dislikes. I’m just plain tired.

So, it comes down to this. I still like all of you. I really do. I just don’t “Like” any of you, anymore. Especially you, Zuckerberg.

The card said:

“You recently tweeted about your ReadyTalk experience and even used the word ‘Awesome.” We appreciate your feedback and for sharing & spreading the word about ReadyTalk. Enclosed is a hard drive as a token of our appreciation.

With Regards, April.”

Wow. Just wow. That’s all we could say.

ReadyTalk.com is a Denver-based, online meeting services company. Think WebEx and GoToMeeting, only without the hassle. ReadyTalk is actually easy to use, doesn’t crash your computer and allows you to hold a webinar without the usual attendant brain damage.

We’ve conducted ReadyTalk.com webinars for the Colorado Society of Association Executives (CSAE). We’ve done a couple others for their Web Seminar Series. But, oddly we’ve never written about them on our blog.

Sure, we’ve gotten online Twitter thank-you messages back for a “tweet,” but we’ve never, ever gotten a card (and gift!) for a “tweet.” Makes you think about your online strategies, doesn’t it?!

Eat, Drink and Be Married

What do you do if you’re pretty much a 100% online company? That describes MyWedding.com. They’re an online local wedding resource, as well as a total management site for the happy couple (RSVP, email, registry, blog, etc).

They already do a great job of creating relationships online, but last week they blew it all out and invited everyone in the Denver/Colorado Springs area to show up at their new offices in Castle Rock, Colorado.

And, boy did they ever provide offline goodies – wines from Castle Rock Winery, superbly neat little gift boxes from Keltoy.com, food and excellent service from Occasions by Sandy, and on and on.

The place was packed! Photographers, florists, DJ’s, caterers, brides, grooms and every other type of wedding hob-nobber, rubbing elbows with Woody Pastorius and the rest of his welcoming crew at MyWedding.com.

Get Off of It

It made us think about online businesses. When was the last time you took your online business – and got off of it?

These days, when it comes to social media everyone wants to pitch its money making power. They tell you that if you just twerp your web site, use the right keywords and tweet 20 times a day you’ll be a success at the online game.

Ever stop to think that perhaps the real power of social media is to keep the “social” in it?

Pretty sure ReadyTalk and MyWedding have. What about you?

Yes, we just found yet another social media “expert” pitching the idea of an “Auto-Follow” program. These programs let you automatically follow anyone who follows you on Twitter

Not a good idea. If the latest round of Twitter spam attacks proved anything, it was that you MUST NOT do that.

And, Now Your Computer Can Be Hacked

It’s bad enough that otherwise smart people have all bragged to us, “I have 2,000 followers on Twitter and I’ve never even used it much.”

No they don’t! If they have 2,000 followers on Twitter, they have 1,800 porn linkers, swindlers, multi-level marketing goofballs, foreign gangsters and outright spammers.

The numbers are so high that people who are paying attention are leaving Twitter in droves. Why? Because Twitter can’t even oust the accounts that are stealing legitimate brands, like Wordpress.

Pictured below are some of the followers of one of the top speakers in the country. She’s been sold a bill of goods because she thinks she is following people of some worth. But, she’s now following:

Don’t laugh. If you use any sort of auto-follow system, you’ll find that you are now following the same kinds of bozos. Just take a look.

The sad fact is that these days 9 out of 10 people who join Twitter are unsavory types of one kind or another – pornographers, swindlers, used car salesmen types and outright spammers.

Go ahead and keep playing around, if you like. Keep thinking that Twitter is some sort of way to make professional connections.

Nope. It’s become simply a way for so-called “Twitter Experts” to deprive you of something even more important than your money. Your time.

Oh, By the Way

Of course, staying away from auto-follow programs only protects you from following bozos. It doesn’t do anything about the folks who follow you. Here are our latest 3 followers on Twitter:

Oh gosh, I sure as heck can’t wait to follow them back!

The fact is, if you like being cornered by veggie pill marketers, used car salesmen or escaped convicts, you’re gonna’ love Twitter.

Want to find out how to keep up with what’s being said about you? Head straight to a cool new Internet resource called Filtrbox.com. But first, we’d like to tell you the story behind the Filtrbox story, and why you should care.

Broadcast News

The Internet has brought vast change at lightning speed to the business world. But, perhaps the biggest and least understood is the change from “broadcast” to “conversation.”

Without going all philosophical on you, whether you like it or not, you and your business are now part of an ongoing conversation. This conversation is multifaceted and it’s happening in a multitude of online locations.

The conversation is about the changes in your industry and the latest developments in the kinds of products you sell. But, it’s more than that. Now, folks are “conversing” about you, your brand and even your own (and your employees’) performance.

This new conversation also has a dark side. Whether you are famous for your inventions, ideas, products or services more and more people want to steal them from you – or just “borrow” them for a while without your knowledge. People want your trademark, your newest product release and even your turn of phrase. Increasingly, they don’t even think of it as stealing.

Location, Location, Location

Where is all of this going on? They’re writing web articles and blogs that use your own thoughts, ideas and exact words. They’re selling rip-offs of your stuff on their web sites and copying your good ideas on their blogs. And, they’re often slamming and damning your customer service on Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook.

How can you keep track of all this? And do you even need to? For an answer to that, just ask any company who has ignored the bloggers and Twitterers. As they can testify, conversations can grow, get out of hand and turn into firestorms.

Are the Solutions Worse than the Problem?

But, how can you keep up? How can you tune in to the first whispers of discontent? How can you know that someone is using your trademarked phrase? How can you track your competitor so closely you’ll know when they burp? Will you see them hawking your products on their web site?

Well, let’s see, you could cobble together some Google News alerts,  a sprinkling of RSS feeds, dozens of blog subscriptions, a few web site change alarms, and top it off with a smattering of newsletters. If you do this, however, you’ll have a control panel about as complex as a fighter jet. And, you’ll spend more time manning the controls than you will evaluating the information you gather.

But, what if there was one solution? And, what if the controls for all of this were simple and accessible?

1 if by Air, 2 if by Land, 3 if by Sea

The place to try out that “one-stop Internet information shop” is at Filtrbox.com. What these guys can do with their Internet listening devices should make the FBI and the CIA a little green with envy.

Unlike a lot of other forms of web and news alerts, Filtrbox covers virtually all the bases AND acts as both a search resource and an alert tool.

You can receive Filtrbox alerts in your favorite RSS reader or in your email. Or, you can ignore these types of constant notifications, go on vacation for a month, and then fiddle with the Filtrbox controls so that you quickly catch up on only the most important stuff you missed.

Tracking your company name and intellectual property? You’ll probably want to monitor all sources – mainstream news, the blog world and Twitter. Tracking a topic in your industry? You may just want to keep up with the mainstream news sources.

At the Controls

So, why is Filtrbox different? Because in one place, you can view and adjust your different topics, time frames, sources and the relative importance of those conversations in one place.

Here’s what I mean. When it comes to your company name, your own name and your trademarked phrases, I’m sure you’d like to know whenever someone says anything – both good and bad.

When it comes to keeping up on your industry’s hot topics and issues, you likely might want to know only when more important or trusted sources have something to say. In the screen shot below we’re only picking up mainstream press articles for a very, very popular term, “information overload“:

And, for all of your terms and phrases you can adjust the amount of time you’re looking at – longer for obscure topics and shorter for popular ones:

Here’s the thing, though. You’ve got to try this. There’s a free version and a free trial – giving you a chance to kick the tires and look under the hood of this remarkable tool.

Why do you even need to try? Because, as the Rolling Stones sang way back in 1965, people really are “talkin’ about you.”

Editors Note: We do not accept referral fees or payments for any sites mentioned in our blogs, speeches or workshops. We do accept “review copies” and “press passes” in order to be able to demonstrate resources and sites.

Fitzgerald’s shocking oversight almost defies explanation. Of course, he wrote the book in 1925, but still, he should have known how crucial Twitter would become to modern online man.

Who are These Guys?

1. A “best selling” Twitterer recently blogged about how he always thanks the folks who “got me where I am today.” The word “I” appeared 19 times in a 394 word post. In his “Thank You” he didn’t link to a single person or group, but he did mention himself 5% of the time. Might be some kind of a record – even for a blog.

Tell him “Thanks, not reading any more.”

2. Another Twitter Puff Daddy offered bloggers a copy of his new book, but had no time to respond to questions. He did, however, take plenty of time to pitch and tweet every single blog review of his book. His expertise, you ask? Building relationships.

Tell him “Thanks, but no review, sir.”

3. And, then there are the tens of thousands of the followers of these yokels – Tweeting their own greatness, Facebooking their own products and LinkedIn “Discussing” their own services.

Tell them all “Thanks, but no comments for you!”

Mortal Threat to Twitter

Whatever else you can say about Twitter and the rest of social networking, the constant selling and PR is drowning out good insight, information and inventiveness – not to mention the social connections it was meant to promote in the first place.

Tools like Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook might have great promise and could serve to educate, enlighten and inform. But, is the 955th re-tweet of “10 More Ways to Twitter Yourself to Success” one of those great purposes?

Don’t think so. So we’re heading back to the library to find a good book written before the Internet exploded self promotion to a constant art.

Seems to us that these PR Twittering souls have re-written the last line of Gatsby to read:

“So we promote ourselves on, boats with the current, borne ahead ceaselessly flogging the future.”

Notice that Meerman Scott doesn’t just thank those who commented. He even suggests his readers hire some of those PR agency folks who did comment. Cool.

Recently, we read a blog article titled something like “Convince Me I Should be on Twitter.” The author begged her readers to give reasons why she might want to join Twitter. Her post got over 90 responses. I wanted to write a 91st:

Dear _______ You should NOT be on Twitter. You’ve not said “thank you” to even one of the folks who’ve taken the time to answer your question. So, please, stay away.

Social media is not about the business you can get, the books you can sell and the money you can make. It’s about the relationships you can develop.

If you ask a question on Twitter, start a discussion on LinkedIn or send out an invitation on Facebook – please say thanks to those who participate. You’d do it in real life. And in case you didn’t notice, even though it’s online, this is real life.

Other Ways to Say It

Or, give your thanks up front, the way Seth Godin does. Every so often he writes something like “Thanks,” telling why he doesn’t “monetize” or put ads on his blog:

Every time you read something I write here, you’re giving me a gift… attention. It’s getting more precious all the time, you have more choices every day, and it’s harder and harder to find the time. I know. I’m grateful. I’m doing my best to make your attention worth it.

With apologies to the scads of other people who do – be like Shep Hyken, who takes the time to write, “Great info today. Thanks.” Or, Ruby Newell Legner, who thanks us for a tip with, “You guys so rock.” Or, Eric Chester, who just wrote, “Can’t thank you enough!“ Makes us feel good. Makes you feel good.

So, David, Seth, Shep, Eric and Ruby – Thanks. There should be more like you.

Think about it. Why have Facebook, LinkedIn, blogs, and even Twitter become so popular, so quickly?

Because, in an economy gone berserk, human connections are the new currency.

Your upcoming convention holds a lot of that new currency – and it can boost your attendance figures, and save your convention.

First, Let’s Get Real

Samantha Whitehorne, the managing editor of Associations Now magazine, warns this month:

“Right now, some of your members may be looking at their budgets and putting your association’s dues on their things-to-possibly-cut list.”

They’re also looking at possibly skipping your yearly convention. As you know, that would be a mistake.

But, and here’s the big BUT – not if you offer them something they can’t get anywhere else.

Second, Think About It

If you’ve spent any time at all joining, creating profiles and following folks on one of those online social networks, you know how arduous and time-consuming it can be. In fact, you might not have joined for that very reason.

But, the point of networking is not the sites or the software. It’s about the people you can meet.

Think about it. Your convention offer hundreds (even thousands) of potential human connections – but almost no way to assure your attendees will make the ones that are most important to them.

Third, Say Hello to Eventvue

That’s where Eventvue comes to the rescue with a seamless, powerful convention add-on that catapults your event into the social networking driver’s seat.

We’ve already written about Eventvue – “7 Reasons Why You Should Cancel Conventions that Don’t Use Eventvue.” – That article is mostly from the point of view of of your attendees. Read it. You’ll want it for the next convention you attend.

But, what about the point of view of the convention organizers, sponsors and those holding the purse strings? For you, Eventvue does four important things:

1. More Early Registrations

The earlier your attendees commit to your convention the better for you. Eventvue means they can start connecting with other early registrants right away. That means you’re offering an edge, not just a discount, for early registration. In fact, this kind of advantage may some day mean you’ll be able to charge MORE for the privilege of signing up early!

2. Comprehension & Retention

Repetition improves learning. Let me repeat that. Repetition improves learning. Some of your attendees will discuss the meeting in the Eventvue email (their real email addresses remain private). Others will simply follow the meeting online; while still others (who are using Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter or blogs) will compare notes and write about your events. The bottom line is that all your attendees will leave with a better understanding of the meeting’s goals and issues.

3. Boost Knowledge of the New Tools

For those attendees who are not yet doing social networking, or are just getting started, what better way to give them an easy introduction to its benefits?

4. More Sponsors and Exhibitors

Have you had a bit of a challenge lately getting sponsors and filling your exhibitor booths? Eventvue can even increase the participation of sponsors and exhibitors. After all, we’re all in this together – organizers, attendees, sponsors and exhibitors.

The New Currency Converter

With so many convention organizers and sponsors blinking in the face of the economy’s dark danger, it’s gratifying to know there is a way into the sunlight.

Yes, the next headlines will be about a new way to convert the currency of human connections into the real currency of convention attendance figures.

And that’s a headline worth reading.

Terri Norvell is the resident president over at MultiFamilyPerformance. She trains managers to think like business owners, develop leadership skills and create value for their customers. She’s also a good friend – so we don’t want her to be thrown to the “Twitter wolves” – or Twolves, as we might call them.

Twitter (you might know) is an online social networking tool that was designed originally to connect friends. Now, in a few short years, it’s become the much-touted, newest messiah of business success.

In fact, the over-hype for Twitter is just beginning. You’ll soon see a torrent of “bestselling” books streaming from the printing presses of both major and minor publishers.

Terri, like the rest of us, doesn’t want to miss out on the next technological savior, so you can now find her at @TerriNorvell.

As a beginner, Terri is, understandably, focused on “how does Twitter work?” And, jillions of people want to tell her how to “work” Twitter. They are lining up on every street corner to tell her that she can get speaking gigs with Twitter, explode her business with Twitter and tons of similar Twhype.

And, we just keep humming Henley’s tune: “The more you know, the less you understand.”

So, our advice to Terri is – Don’t worry. You’ll learn the ‘how to’ stuff. In fact, Twitter is so new that anyone who tells you “how to” is full of some sort of shirt starch, anyway.

Here’s our advice – without the starch. Follow what you already know, especially the kinds of things that Debra and Sarah teach (below):

Debra Fine – The Fine Art of Small Talk

Twitter is a tool that allows you to become part of the conversation. Effective conversation is Debra Fine’s expertise – and you must read her book (or re-read it) if you are going to learn our version of “The Fine Art of <Internet> Small Talk.”

We’ve written about her in two articles over on our HiddenSpeakerTreasures blog – which we cleverly titled, “The Fine Art of Internet Small Talk – Part 1 and Part 2.”

Take, just for instance, a few of her “Fifty Ways to Fuel a Conversation” – and see if you don’t agree that Terri will learn more about Twitter success from Debra than she will from all the marketing/PR types hanging out there.

• • Let the natural person in you come out when talking to others
  • Include everyone in the group in conversation whenever possible
  • Seek out other’s opinions
  • Make an effort to help people if you can

And that’s just a handful of the “50 Ways” – and those 50 are just a page or two of the whole book.

Sarah Michel – Perfecting Connecting

Twitter allows you to connect quickly to people around the globe. So, if Terri is going to truly connect on Twitter, she should remember what she’s already learned from Sarah Michel over at Perfecting Connecting.

The essence of Sarah Michel’s message is this phrase:

Find out what people need and then figure out a way to give it to them.

We’ve written so much about Sarah it’s hard to send you to one article (so search both blogs for her name), but here’s Sarah:

I enjoy connecting people, but I don’t give to get. That’s ‘transactional networking,’ which is not what I’m about. I practice ‘intentional connecting.’ Intentional connecting is connecting people with the intention of helping them first.

The Bottom Line

Most people on Twitter are either selling, beating their chest or just hanging out. Almost none of them are “social networking.”

Even so, Twitter, like any other place where people gather, is overflowing with abundance. There are moments of grace on Twitter just as there are wherever humans get together.

Which is why Terri will do her best job with Twitter only if we change those Henley words again to “All the things she thought she knew… she did!” You go, Terri. You’re ready for Twitter.

Note: The photo of Don Henley up top is courtesy of Alan Light over on Flickr. Thank you Creative Commons!

Everyone has been publishing their “Best Of” lists for 2008. We’d like to suggest a “Blog of the Year for 2009.” Yes, this year, in a tailspin economy you’re going to need more than a voice about how to make bucks. You’ll need a voice about how to act.

The Trust Matters blog would tell you that Charles Green is:

…founder and CEO of Trusted Advisor Associates. The author of Trust-based Selling and co-author of The Trusted Advisor, he has spoken to, consulted for or done seminars about trusted relationships in business for a wide and global range of industries and functions.

Actually Mr. Green is a moral compass in worlds gone mad – the world of selling, the online world and the world of business ethics (which is not, in his world, an oxymoron).

Want a few examples? Here he is on social networking:

Just as email is getting overwhelmed by spam, there is a surfeit of those who collect Linked-In contacts; who enjoy applying the still-latent meaning in the word “friend” to 700 such people on FaceBook; and generally those who wish to find a shortcut to relationships and to sales.

If you think he’s just standing on the sidelines barking at the future – not so. He’s as involved in the online world and the need for change as anyone. Here he is on the concept of “Built to Last“:

The point is not to last. The point is to do great things for all your constituents. Where continued existence helps, great. Otherwise, standing water stagnates. The visionary thing works; but these days, the vision had better be to change, morph, grow, evolve, turnover, shift.

He asks a lot of his readers, insisting they bring their brains along with them. In taking on the bestselling book and movie “The Secret” he even uses words like “logic” and “syllogism” and “necessary condition“:

If dreaming big were a sufficient condition, every dreamer would win the lottery. If mere willpower were enough to win American Idol, the parade of early season misfits would be in the finals. Simon Cowell’s role is to remind us all that talent and hard work matter too. We love to hate him because we want to believe those self help books are enough—if you just dream hard enough!

The online world is full of pop-up ads, pretenders and even Christmas Eve sales offers. In a world where Twitter spammers masquerade as your friend, LinkedIn hosts too many PitchedIn’s and Facebook is a “Beacon” to privacy invasion – this blog is fresh Web 2.0 air.

Last year we ended the year telling you about a wonderfully readable blog from Sarah Moffett. This year it’s Trust Matters.

In Trust Matters, Charles Green says he tries to “do my best to offer you a consistent diet of thoughtful, provocative ideas from my own work and from that of others.” He does much more than that. He keeps track of our better instincts – in a world that continues to tempt us to our worst.